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Image source "The counterintuitive secret to sustainable great performance is to live like a sprinter. Research shows the highest performance occurs when we balance work and effort with rest and renewal. In practice, that means working at your highest intensity for no more than 90 minutes at a time and then taking a true break. You will be able to focus far more intently and get more done in far less time." -Marcus Buckingham, author of StandOut
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Pope Francis and the Great Commandment - a repost from a FOCUS blogger
In the Gospel of Matthew, chapter 24, one of the Pharisees asks Jesus, "Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?"Jesus responds: "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it, you shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the law and the prophets."Pretty simple, right? We’ve heard all of this from the youngest of ages, but the fact of the matter is that it is difficult for folks to do both of these well.And, as humans, we sometimes tend to be good at one or the other.
Some of us find it easier to love/obey God.We obey all of the commandments. We have a deep personal relationship with Him. But, we struggle to love others. We have difficulties showing the mercy that God has shown us.The Pharisees struggled with loving their neighbor and Jesus had some choice words for them (and for those who fall into this category). A couple of samples both from the Seven Woes in Matthew 25 (which followed the Pharisees question listed above):"But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites, because you shut the kingdom of heavenagainst men.”"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites, for you tithe mint and dill and cumin, and haveneglected the weightier matters of the law, justice and mercy and faith; these you ought to have done, without neglecting the others.”The Pharisees knew how to follow rules and look like they were obeying God. But, they failed to love others. (By the way, they also failed to go beyond the rules to truly love God as well).
Some of us find it easier to love others.We are quick to lend a hand to our neighbor. We seek out opportunities to help the poor. We find it natural to give mercy and forgiveness to others. But, we struggle to obey all of God’s commandments. We have a hard time finding time for prayer. We don’t agree or follow the Church’s teachings on a particular doctrine or teaching.The book of Revelation has some choice words for us as well:“I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spew you out of my mouth” (Revelation 3:15-16).What we find in Pope Francis is an amazing love of both God and neighbor.He’s a man with unrelenting faithfulness to our Lord and the teachings of the Church and a resilient desire to bring God’s mercy to others on earth.His example of being able to do both challenges all of us.While actions are much stronger than words, I wanted to list some quotes to help encapsulate his example and witness to the need to love God and neighbor. I believe he has demonstrated many of these things through his actions during his papacy as well.
On love of God and being obedient to Jesus and the Church:In regards to abortion and same-sex unions: “The teaching of the Church, for that matter, is clear and I am a son of the Church.”“We are not Christian ‘part-time,’ only at certain moments, in certain circumstances, in certain decisions; no one can be Christian in this way – we are Christian all the time! Totally!” – General Audience, May 15, 2013.“What does obeying God mean? Does it mean that we must behave like slaves? No, whoever obeys God is free, he is not a slave! And how can this be? It seems like a contradiction… The word “obey” comes from Latin, and means to listen, to hear others. Obeying God is listening to God, having an open heart to follow the path that God points out to us. Obedience to God is listening to God and it sets us free.” —Homily, Domus Sanctae Marthae, April 11, 2013
On love of others (many of them appear to be addressed to the Pharisees of our day):“I think we, too, are the people whom, on the one hand want to listen to Jesus, but on the other hand, at times, like to find a stick to beat others with, to condemn others. And Jesus has this message for us: mercy.” –Homily, March 17, 2013“The thing the Church needs most today is the ability to heal wounds and to warm the hearts of the faithful; it needs nearness, proximity. I see the Church as a field hospital after battle.” – America Interview, September 30, 2013“Jesus [says]: ‘Truly I say to you, the tax collectors and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you.’ Jesus puts things in their proper place. He tells us that our Father in Heaven is not a father who makes a pact with legalists. He is a Father of mercy.” —Homily, September 24, 2011Reflection: Do have an easier time loving God or loving your neighbor? What can you do to strengthen your weakness this week?Have a thought on this blog post? Want to add something to the conversation? Write a comment below.Want to read more quotes by Pope Francis and reflections by Kevin? Buy Kevin’s best-selling book, Through the Year with Pope Francis: Daily Reflections. -
A number of weeks ago, a group of 20-30 college students at USI and I had a Bible study discussion, and I was surprised about one of the biggest topics of the conversation: being totally honest with Christ in prayer.In a parish Mass at St. Thomas the Apostle on the western outskirts of Rome on February 16, Pope Francis commented on this very issue of revealing ourselves to Christ when we pray.
"I think it would do us good today to think about not whether our souls are clean or soiled, but to ask, 'What is in my heart? What do I hold inside that I know and no one else does?'"
The Holy Father admits, "Facing the truth about ourselves is not easy." But if we cannot allow ourselves to admit to God what scares us--what we don't want to accept about our struggles or about ourselves--if we cannot bring those most intimate parts of ourselves to God, who can we bring them to? More importantly, where else will we find any sort of meaning or peace in those darkest places?
It is natural to want to hide the things that we think will cause us pain. But those are the very things Jesus comes to hold most dearly to himself for us. What is most difficult for you to talk about in prayer? During this most intentional Holy Week where our faith finds its fullest meaning, why not give over our fears and struggles to Christ?
May we all find the light and life of the risen Lord. -
I stumbled across this practical article about how to talk to your children (or to anyone) about pornography. The author suggests starting the conversation in the car when you're near your home, so the child doesn't have to make eye contact and so that they know they'll be able to get away soon.
Here are her talking points:
Pornography depicts one shadowy and loveless corner of the vast landscape of human sexuality. Your teenager might profess a sophisticated understanding of the many varieties of sexual activity, but there’s still no harm in saying: “I know that a lot of kids are looking at porn online, but I’m hoping you won’t. Sex can be mutual, loving and fulfilling and it can be dark, offensive and destructive. What you see in pornography is almost always the wrong kind of sex, and I don’t want you getting the impression that that’s what sex is all about.”Our bodies can be aroused by things our minds don’t find appealing. Next, you may want to take up the unfortunate reality that many portrayals of sex — however distasteful or disturbing — can still be titillating. You might say: “There’s another reason I don’t want you looking at pornography. People often find that they’re turned on by stuff that they don’t feel good about watching. I wouldn’t want for you to be in the position of having your body react to something your head knows is wrong.”Many people consider pornography to be fundamentally exploitive. If you go this route, try: “In pornography, someone’s always making money off someone else’s degradation. When you watch pornography, you are participating in exploitation. We don’t do that in our family.” Credit for this last point goes to the author Marybeth Hicks from a conversation we had long ago. Our politics couldn’t be more different (I’m about as liberal as she is conservative), but I fully agree with her on this one.Everything you do online could potentially be seen by everyone you know. If you haven’t yet had a conversation about sexting, you might introduce that related issue here: “Needless to say, we also expect that you would never share or request content you wouldn’t want grandma to see.”Don’t expect your teenager to ask a lot of questions or thank you for raising the topic. A quick exit from the car or an abrupt change of subject is likely to end the conversation. And don’t trust that your teenager will forever forsake porn. Statistically, boys are more likely than girls to seek pornography, but even if you take steps to block it (which you should consider), most teenagers will eventually be exposed to porn or dating someone who is. If that happens, you will want your teenager to hear something besides the soundtrack of the all-too-accessible and all-too-adult world of pornography: your voice, offering another point of view.Lisa Damour (Twitter: @LDamour) is a psychologist in private practice in Shaker Heights, Ohio, a clinical instructor at Case Western Reserve University and the director of Laurel School’s Center for Research on Girls. Her book about parenting teenage girls will be published by Ballantine Books, a division of Random House. -
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Why can Thank You be so heartfelt? Because it requires the one giving thanks to acknowledge his or her own need for others.
To give thanks is to admit that we are poor, for in the moment of giving thanks, we acknowledge that what we have comes entirely from another, that we are dependent as baby birds squawking tortuously for a giving mother. To give thanks is to relinquish any claim we have on what is given to us, maintaining within us the givenness of the gift.
If instead of saying “thank you,” we said, “I am filled with understanding that my having the salt is entirely dependent upon your willful passing of said salt, and as such I acknowledge and affirm that I am not alone in the universe, but that my life — in its quality and meaning — is full of your gift,” we’d be thrown from the table, but with a new understanding of what the hell I’m talking about. To say thank you has cosmic implications. It is the declaration of a contingent being, the happy chirp of a thing that finds his life and its content all tied up in others.
More from this blog post can be found here.
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A close friend of mine asked me to speak to his high school juniors on retreat here at Saint Meinrad this afternoon. He asked me to talk about how we hear God's voice through others. As I prepared to talk with the students, I was reminded of a story from three years ago - one where I had bought a ticket and missed a flight and simply couldn't see the good to come out of it.
________________________________________________Image source It was January 2011. I was part of a team of college students who facilitated leadership conferences for high school students all over the country for the National FFA Organization. I was due to study a semester in Rome that February, and while waiting to study abroad, I built up a small savings for Rome with these weekend conferences - simultaneously doing what I love.I received my flight itineraries for one of the conferences, and I was a bit unhappy. One conferences was the same weekend as the March for Life in Washington, DC. I had been to the March for Life and vigil Mass for years. I really wanted to be there to serve with the others from my college seminary that year, too. FFA was giving me a free roundtrip to Columbus for the conference and back to Indy, but as I checked my options, I would not make it to DC in time for the Mass if I went back to Indy. Long story short, I decided to purchase my own ticket to DC from Columbus - a flight which would get me into DC with exactly one hour to Metro to the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception. It was going to work out. I was going to the March.Image source Weeks passed, and it was Sunday of the conference. It had been a great weekend with some-400 students and my conference facilitator teammates. As we wrapped up that Sunday afternoon - and as I got my things ready for the vigil Mass in DC later that evening, we talking about where to get food before flights.
One of my teammates, who we'll call Blake, really wanted to eat at Thurman's, a restaurant there in Columbus that was featured on the Food Network, and since I needed to catch the earliest flight, Blake asked if it was OK. Since I didn't need to check luggage, and it would be a relatively small airport, I agreed — under one stipulation: 1) Blake would get directions on his iPhone and 2) that we would arrive at the airport 45 minutes before boarding.Blake had driven separately, and the rest of us were going to the airport with the rental car after lunch. He looked up directions as we waited on our food to come out and said it would only take 20 minutes to get to the airport. I wrote down the directions myself, making sure we’d get to the airport quickly after eating.At lunch, Blake remarked, “I am so glad we came here.” Smiles in our eyes and bacon-burgers in our mouths, we concurred.Some of us didn't even get to finish our food, with the crunch of the clock and the long line we waited in. We bade Blake farewell, and the rest of us rushed to the car, making great time as we headed to the airport.As we pulled up to the airport... I saw a sign: "Rickenbacker Air National Guard."
Wrong airport.
We sat in silence.It turned out Blake had given me the right directions to the wrong airport, and we had another thirty minutes to get to the airport we all needed. My flight was scheduled to lift off in almost the same amount of time! I wasn't going to make my flight! Worse yet, when I booked that flight, it was the only option that would get me into DC in time for the Mass - the flight I gave up a free ticket to purchase!I wasn't as upset as some of my team members. I was strangely calm, and another team member said, with a semi-joking tone, “I would be cursing and yelling and blaming people right now!”We made our way to the correct airport, hurriedly exchanged goodbyes, grabbed our bags, and they left for the rental return, hoping leaving me at the drop-off could help. Somehow.I soon found out all flight options were the same: I would arrive too late to serve with the other seminarians, and even if I paid the $180 change fee for an earlier flight, I wouldn't arrive until two hours into the three-hour mass. I accepted that I would arrive with about 10 minutes left—enough time to at least kind of make it... maybe enough time to at least receive Communion.I sat down at my gate. I began to really suffer. It wasn't working out at all, and I was no longer strangely calm.Image source “If only Blake would have given me the right directions…” I thought, " and I shouldn't have agreed to such a tight time-frame.” I wasn't going to make it to Mass. I wasn't going to get to serve. I wasn't even going to make it to Mass that Sunday! I was going to sit in an airport for hours, waiting for things that were not going to be what was supposed to happen. I couldn't see how any of this was supposed to happen.
I received a text message from Blake while I was sitting in the airport. Apparently he had heard about the mess. Here's what it said:Really bummed you missed your flight man... Should have just had you guys get [lunch] to go. Typed in [the airport] in my google maps app. Not sure why it would have taken you to the military airport. Sorry for not having double checked that. Probably not what you want to hear, but maybe there is a reason you were not on that flight. Could be a conversation you will have or already had or something else. We never know. Prayers for you travels man. Great being with you this weekend.
MAYBE THERE IS A REASON? Yes - him! HE is the reason I missed my flight! As you can imagine, as kind of a message as it was, I couldn't see any way things would work out for "a reason" this way.I boarded. I flew. And my flight landed.I hopped on the train and the Metro dropped me off at the basilica with just the final blessing, hymn and procession remaining. I entered a side-door, near the front, so I could see my friends as they processed out. As I was singing, I looked up from my worship aid and saw a young man out of the corner of my eye. He also looked up right then. We both simply nodded and continued singing.
The procession out began. I pushed through the crowded aisles, nearer the processional line of seminarians. After my friends had passed, I went back to the doorway, awaiting the end of the hymn and ready to go spend the rest of the evening with my seminarian brothers.Image source But as the hymn concluded and people began rushing about, I saw that same college-aged guy, again. I approached him and said, “I’m Tyler.” Shaking hands, he responded, "I'm Chris."
“Where do you go to school?” I asked.After telling me his university, I said, “Have you ever thought about becoming a priest?”Everything stopped for a moment. He was stunned.With deep sincerity, he admitted, "Yes. I have." Slowly, he said, “How did you know?”Immediately, one of the girls with him crawled over his shoulder and said, "What?! How did you know? Who told you to ask?"I took Chris' paper program from the Mass and wrote down his name - or gave him mine. I don't recall. Either way, it was so we could find each other on Facebook, if he wanted to.That night, I fell to my knees in prayer while I was in the crypt of the basilica. I prayed for Chris and asked forgiveness for holding so much anger over my friend Blake. I sent Blake a message with all that happened. He was surprised.And Chris? We Skyped while I was in Rome, and I went to spend a weekend with him and his family about a year later. Today, Chris is rounding out his junior year in College Seminary.And I'm hoping to be open to wherever the Lord is taking me next.Image source Trust in the LORD with all your heart, on your own intelligence rely not;In all your ways be mindful of him, and he will make straight your paths.-Proverbs 3:5-6
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